Two Good Stories-all at my expense!

So I've been looking for a new mom outfit-aka velour track suit-elastic wasteband-its only been 2 weeks folks, not getting into regular pants just yet, especially not with a csection. anyways, been to target, oldnavy, etc numerous times and never do they have the top size that matches the bottom size that I need-how difficult is that really? well, today at Target I just so happened upon a brown suit with fleur de lis (french symbol big in neworleans) on the jacket in cute blue-totally not important....so I grabbed the top and bottom sizes to match!!! YEAH! even went to the trouble of getting a tee-shirt to match! So I get home and rip it out of the bag to show Johnny I finally found what I've been looking for and BAM!!!!right on the BUTT of the pants in blinging big silver rhinestones is "ROYAL" about 4 inches tall!!!!! I died laughing and turned it around to show JOhnny, huge laughter everywhere! Seriously who wants the word ROYAL tattooed across their butt in 4 inch capital letters!!!!???? Guess I need to 'inspect' my articles of clothing BEFORE purchasing!
Needless to say its going back to the store-thanks Target but no thanks!

So the second story, obviously with Turner involved-almost every good story has Turner involved-he's hilarious and this is Pre-Molly. Turner's birthday is December 17, Molly's is December 19th. So he's opening a Birthday present and its this animal set mountain and has a huge gorrilla on it. Well, while opening we -me and Turner, Johnny had to go to work that night....found these coins things, but weren't sure what to do with them, so I saved them in the box...wait..where'd the box go? I asked Turner where the box went that had the coins in them? Of course he informed me that daddy took it out to the big trash can before he went to work. "Crap". So yes, I go dumpster diving, freezing cold and 10 months pregnant, looking for these coin dabloon things that we're not even sure what they go to. I dig through two trash bags until I'm frozen and nasty and go back inside trying to figure out how to tell Turner that we lost part of his new toy. I get inside and come up with , "I'm sorry buddy, I couldn't find the coins that go to the big gorrilla." Real nice huh? So, he runs to his room, I was devastated, big new huge toy from Granny and my punkin can't even play with it. Mind you I"m hormonal and huge and did I mention freezing? So he comes back a few minutes later and holds his hands up and says "mommy do you mean these coins? I put these monies in my piggy bank!"
I wanted to scream, but was too happy for him! The things we do for our kids!!!???!!!